Thursday, March 30, 2017

Doodle

I kept wondering
If u ever noticed me
Noticed myself
Noticed me as in my true self
Wanting to know me
So much that you wanted to know more about me
So much that you hope that I am dreaming about you
Like what I always did
Did you?
I wonder what did you see in me
Or do you just walk past me without having the bit intention to ask me something
Or maybe ask me how am i doing
Or waittt
Did you even know me, my name?
Yup I am delusional, thinking that it would mean the world if you would knew me

I felt my future is dark
Knowing that my past self was the reason
For my bad future possibilities
To love someone
And having someone loves me back
Will I ever get through this hardships
Because I have no one else except h and f that knew my secret
My biggest secret
Even my family I did not tell them
I am afraid
I am really afraid
I am to blame too for cutting my friendship with others
The group that always make me happy
I turn to you O Allah
Everyday was a mess for me
Shine your light so I can see
What have I been missing this whole life

If there will be one day that all of the lies of mine exposed, I am not quite sure myself,
I kept calming myself that everything will be okay but I would be lying if I am not scared by opinion of surroundings. I am sorry. I felt I am undeserving of everyone's kindness and compassion.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Sajak Islamphobia

Sajak kuluah hari ini,
Moga terbuka hati kau mendengarnya,
Agar tersulam rasa cintamu buat memahami,
Berputik kasih untuk mendekati,
Tersingkap hijab bencimu pada kami ,saudaramu,

Kita hidup di dunia sama,
Bangun melihat sinar mentari pagi,
Mengharap hari indah bertemu yang dikasihi,
Mengapa syak wasangka aku dan kamu berbeza,
Bersengketa lama bukan cara penuh gaya,
Untuk kau mendiskriminasi mengaku raja,
Kita bebas memilih jalan agama,
Namun membebankan kami dengan kesusahan,
Walhal kau mudah segalanya,
Keadilan manakah yang kau perjuangkan hari ini!?!

Mungkin pada pandanganmu,
Setiap gerakku aneh,
Gaya hidupku berbeza denganmu,
Apa yang kusarung lebih asing,
Namun, aduhai
Kicauan burung lebih merdu bunyinya,
Dari tohmahan media yang tersebar berisi dengki,
Mengutuk,menyebar benci dan dendam pada manusia,
Agar di mata luar seharusnya kami ditakuti,
Anehnya,  kau memilih untuk percaya dari periksa,
Menolak untuk menghulurkan bantuan,
Terus kau nyalakan sumbu penderitaan,
Menafikan hak kesamarataan juga nilai kemanusiaan.

Cuba dikau merenung sejenak,
Seketika fikirkan prinsip yang dibawa,
Lihat kembali apa yang kami lakukan,
Kelembutan yang dipamerkan,
Setimpalkah dengan keganasan yang dihebohkan?

Kesejahteraan mercu agama,
Lambang buat mereka yang kurang mengenali,
Menyebar islam agar mereka memahami,
Bahawa kami bukanlah pengganas mahupun penzalim,
Atas kehendak sendiri kami turuti perintah ilahi,
Jika engkau mendengar sajak ini,
Hayati kehidupan kami sebelum mengeji,
Rasai kenikmatan bermunajat dan berzikir memuji Maha Memberi,
Di saat itu kau akan tahu,
ISLAM IS PEACE.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

BERAMAH MESRA DENGAN ORANG MESIR

kitorg gi ladang, makan tebu, peramah sgt keluarga muhammad ni, jumpa kat azhar masa nk beli buku kt maktabah , masa gi umah dia tu allah jela tau dupdap2 hati aku ni sbb time tu takde Visa!
oh ye makan tebu kt ladang, n dia suh aku jadi imam kat masjid(segan aje haha da la x abis hafal baqarah lg, tp dia ok je-btw he is a Hafiz quran)
tangkap gambar family dgn dorg, mak dia siap ckp"duduk la sini ngan kitorg ko xyah bayar duit sewa kat kaherah tu"
sooo nice!! and i like suasana kampung qasyisy !

Friday, October 28, 2016

of this week

Finally!!
Alhamdulillah managed to process kerneh .(student's card)
I am proud of my determination kahkahkah woke up early in the morning and fighting with my lazy spirit, made up my mind   to hv gila sejuk water for shower, and tobur(line up) at the office(not so office-like lorrr-u can see the attached pic)
Last but not least I am grateful for hving syakir throughout the   entire process .. Without him, i may not want to go to univ at all to settle this because it is so renyah n leceh n serius bengang dgn perangai arab nih .. any new students may felt like it's their culture so we hv to bow down n try to act kind to them ,.. but it's a no no for the shit and selfish attitude they gave to us(they opened the office, when they wanted to, they closed the door even it not yet the time to close, and if they felt kita myerabutkn kpla dia, they chased us away)